Dear Junior Year

Dear Junior Year,

I love you, but I hate you. It may barely be October, but this year has already been quite the test. Testing my strength, my patience, my faith…oh Junior year. You are something else.

These past few months I have been figuring out who I am, what I want, what my dreams are, and what I love. Sadly, in these transition times people will leave your life. I have had a tough time lately trusting in a Greater Plan. Anyone else find it hard to blindly trust in the fear of the future? Well, me too.

I struggle letting go of the comfortable things in my life. I have always had a hard time letting go of old rooms, old cars, ect. I really have a tough time letting go of people. Even if they are not pushing me in the right direction, and are not part of my plan anymore, I fight to hold on until the very last minute. I don’t want to miss out on all the comfortable times we have. I don’t want to have to start new with new people. That is scary. I have to open up again and be vulnerable and work to create relationships. Whether that is friendships or romantically, it is not easy and it is terrifying.

As I struggle through this season, let me share with you what I have found new comfort in.

Psalm 37:7 “Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him."

Wait. God would not have anyone wait unless he saw it necessary. Remember he hears your wants, needs, and requests. But those are not always what he sees for you. He hears you, but He may have something way bigger in store for you. Wait for him. Because what we are promised is SOOOO worth the wait.

Romans 5:8 “I loved you at your darkest”

No matter how low you feel or how dark the day may be, you are loved. We have all had a point where we feel so alone and no matter how many people are around. But no matter what is happening, take a step back and remembering how loved you are. Take a second to remember that God purposefully made each of us in HIS image. He knows you better than anyone. He knows the deep, dark stuff we bury down. And yet, He loves us. Every day. All He wants is us. He loves you. YOU ARE SO LOVED NO MATTER WHAT. His love and His promises are far more beautiful than any fear or disappointment we have.

I look for comfort in people, jobs, and events. No matter how much I have tried to fill the holes in my heart with these things it will never complete me. Can’t fill a GOD sized hole with earth sized things. Life is important and the things in it are needed to go through it, but clinging to those things to get you through the tough stuff won’t help.

I am no professional on this. I am still struggling each day with doing this. But as I remind myself I want to remind you that find God, then find your friends or your boyfriend or your girlfriend. Do this and you will fill that hole and start going down the right path for turning those storms in your life into rainbows.

Junior year, you have already shown me that it is tough living this lifestyle. We are called to higher standards and it is not easy and it is lonely. I have seen it already. However, the glimpses I have seen of the brighter side is so so so worth it. Junior year you have given me patience and blind trust. You have pushed me to overcome challenges and taught me how to stick to my guns. Junior year, thank you for bringing me low, so that He can bring me up higher than I have ever been. Junior year, it has already been a while ride…I can’t wait to see what else you have in store for me.

Don’t give up on it. Don’t give up on me. Don’t give up on each other. Trust that life will come together as it should and everything will work out just fine.