This one isn't fun.

Cue the sad music, grab the tissues, and prepare to never leave your bed. This blog post is about a broken heart.

Sadly I can say I’ve truly experienced this a few times. Sometimes I think it’s the end of the world and you realize later it was nothing. Other times I still feel a little bit of heart ache to this day.

I know what you’re thinking. Girl you’re almost 22 what do you know about heart break. Honestly too much but also not enough. I know I’ll have a few more frogs to kiss before I get my prince and that’s just life but it doesn’t make it any easier.

Recently I found myself LIKE LIKEing a boy. We’ve had a past and did a lot of growing and reconnected. Let me tell you it was something really special. This boy is awesome y’all. Great family, strong faith, hard working, smart, driven, and easy to look at. But… he lives 10 hours away. I got the call yesterday that said distance wouldn’t be possible and things were ending. Now this is by no means negative towards that boy! I think he’s still as amazing as ever and he did what he needed to do for himself and I understand and respect his choice! I will always think the world of him!! Doesn’t mean it’s easy to hear…

So this is still fresh for me but not the first time I’ve been dumped (sorry I know people hate that phrase but it is what it is). So I’ve done a lot of thinking and was inspired to write this today. Here’s what I know and the tips I have to surviving a broken heart…

1. You’re gonna cry a lot and you know what?! It’s ok!! You had someone you like/love tell you they don’t wanna do it anymore and your whole world is rocked. If you don’t cry I’m kind of concerned. Crank the sad music, turn on the sad movie, crawl in bed and give yourself the time to feel it all. That’s normal and healthy. I’m still very much on this stage…

2. Surround yourself with good people. I drove to see my mom on a Sunday night because sometimes that’s what we need. Get the people that know if you want to talk or if you just need company to cry with or if you need distractions. Lean on those people because that is why they are here. You aren’t alone.

3. You might get in your head and think well what is wrong with me? Why am I not good enough to work on this with? Why am I not enough to keep going?! Trust me. It happens and you aren’t the only one. Because that’s all I’ve been thinking. You dissect every conversation and situation and find your faults in it all. Sure we all make mistakes. There will be things you could’ve done different but no one is perfect and life throws us curve balls. Get out of your head and know that you are awesome. You are worthy. You are more than one opinion. Your happiness can’t stand on one person. Thats not fair to them! You can’t put that weight on someone cause we all have bad days and they will have theirs too. You are enough. God made you perfectly in his image and you will one day be enough for the man or woman He has made for you. For now cry it out and hug your dog.

4. Let it go. This takes time and practice. They say if you love something let it go. Let them go. They will realize they miss it and come back or they will move on and so will you and you’ll realize there is a reason things ended. Someone will walk Into your life showing you why everyone else left. You care for them so pray for them and their happiness. Even if it’s not with you, wish them success and joy. They were once important to you so continue to love them and support them.

5. Forgive. I’ve talked to a very wise woman about a lot of things in life. A big one is forgiveness. Now my fault is I forgive too much. I allow people to continue to hurt me. Some people can’t ever forgive. Neither are healthy. What this lady told me was you can forgive for yourself, you can forgive for them, or you can do both. You can forgive someone and give them another chance to make it right and move on from it. You can forgive for yourself where you let go and you get to move on but that doesn’t mean they get to come back Into your life. Or you can do both. That is something you need to evaluate and decide on. But forgiveness can release the weight off of you and give you the freedom to pick yourself up and move forward.

6. Get up and do something. When I’m hurt I’ll crawl in bed and never leave. Don’t get me wrong a day or two of this is ok if that’s what you need. Your feelings are valid. But don’t let the pain consume you. Get up and do what you love. Go exercise. Go paint. Go play music. Go drive. Go see a movie. Do what you love and remind yourself that life will go on.

7. Don’t go looking to replace them. Loneliness is such a hard thing to handle. We all feel it at times and it can be in general, romantically, or through friendship. We all have times where we feel alone. The Lord will give you these times to help you Grow. That’s something I am still working on. You don’t need to go fill the void and find a new Boy or girl to step in and take that spot. It’s ok to be on your own and find your worth and strength. God will lead you to someone if it’s supposed to happen. When you go looking to fill a void it won’t be healthy and it won’t work and you’ll be right back here. Allow time and healing to happen and trust He will provide exactly what you need.

You’re hurt and it’s ok. I’m currently feeling all of the things but I remind myself every day, each day is another day closer to being ok. Each day I conquer is a day closer to no more pain. Find what helps remind you you’ll survive this and write it down where you can see it. Remind yourself every day you’re strong and you are worthy. you never know things could turn around later in life and you reconnect with the one that broke your heart or you’ll find someone who is better for you. You’ve got this. It’s going to be ok and you’ll come out of this stronger and more confident. Take notes of what you loved about this person and remember that for the future if you meet someone. I’m right there with you. I’m struggling with this pain too but life will carry on and the Lord has a better plan for you. Just wait and see.

A little scripture reminded…

1 Peter 5:7 “Cast all your anxiety on him because He cares for you.”

John 14:27 “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”

John 16:33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you many have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

Psalm 34:18 “The Lord is close to the broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”